Sad today...

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Sad today...

PostPosted by Kittee » Mon May 11, 2015 9:46 am

Hey all...I haven't posted in a while because I am trying to not think about my face so much, but I'm just feeling especially sad today. It has been over 5 months since my skin damage occurred. My skin seems to fluctuate day to day (I realize that is normal...). Some days I will think it's getting better, and then other days, like the last few days, it seems like it looks worse than ever. I guess 5 months is still considered early, at least I hope it is. I am trying to remain positive and hopeful, and some days I truly DO feel hopeful, and even kind of happy and able to forget about my skin for a bit. But why, because my face still looks awful. I feel like the more time passes, and with little to no improvement, I lose more hope. I have seen some changes for the better, but they don't stick, they always seem to worsen yet again and my skin goes back to what it was or worse. Does anyone else notice this happening? Anyone who has had healing, did your skin go back and forth like this and eventually heal, anyway? I looked at my face today and my pores looked huge, my skin looks disgusting to me and I hate it. I am so mad at myself for what I did to my skin. I keep thinking how happy I would be if this never happened. I have so much going for me in my life, yet my skin makes me feel miserable a lot of the time. And even when I don't feel completely miserable, my skin is always in the back of my mind. Sigh. I just want my old skin back. This sucks so bad. Some times I think of what things will be like in a year or more, and it makes me feel better because I imagine in a year I will have to have had SOME kind of healing. But who knows, maybe I won't. I don't know. I just had to rant. I'm in a depressed crying mode today and have nobody to talk to about this. Thanks if anyone reads this.
Kittee
 
Posts: 113
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:49 am

Re: Sad today...

PostPosted by djamilia555 » Mon May 11, 2015 4:10 pm

This is the hardest time for you and your face. When I was 5 month out of my damage my only wish was to die. It was summer time and spent it crying and asking God ,why? The only reason to live was and is my daughter . Ian now 2 years out and I think face still have been getting worser. Don't know exactly. So please be patient and stay strong. Just think about your relatives , about people who loves you. Give your face time. Wish you luck. Hope you will heal.
djamilia555
 
Posts: 122
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2013 4:30 am

Re: Sad today...

PostPosted by Kittee » Tue May 12, 2015 9:22 am

I know, dj.....my two kids are what keeps me going. That and the small hope I have that maybe this will get better in the distant future. I keep thinking, I can't end up 30, 35, or 40 years old (I am 26) and still be dealing with this? This can't last forever, can it? There has to be some time in my life where I will move on and things will be better. It has only been 5 months so right now it hasn't really been too long so I haven't had time to get a lot better. I do have more good days than bad ones than I did at first, but I still cry. Also, I am so sorry that you feel your skin is getting worse still....I wish you healing, too. Thanks dj...I will try my best to be positive and patient. It's all I can do at this point.
Kittee
 
Posts: 113
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:49 am

Re: Sad today...

PostPosted by Kittee » Tue May 12, 2015 4:30 pm

My skin looks worse than ever today. I can't believe I am having to deal with this. It's such a bizarre problem to have, continuously deteriorating skin. I'm so over it. I want to scream. This is taking all of the joy out of my life. Considering using the tretinoin my derm gave me, but I'm terrified of it. I feel desperate. Don't know what to do. I just want this to be over. Sorry for the rant.
Kittee
 
Posts: 113
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2015 10:49 am

Re: Sad today...

PostPosted by djamilia555 » Tue May 12, 2015 5:01 pm

So understand you. I was 27 when this happened. That period of my life was the darkest. I couldn't think anything else. My young face turned into old wrinkled face. After a year there were more positives days than negatives in my life. Now I feel myself much more better. Just because I can't change anything . May be it was a test a had to past. Now I am 29 and can't hardly remember my before damage face. Good make up make me feel better and I feel happy sometimes. Please do your best. Don't give up. Good days coming soon.....
djamilia555
 
Posts: 122
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2013 4:30 am


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