First off, I'm very happy that there is a place I can come to for help. It is very discouraging when no one understands, not even my family. I have a long story to tell as I have been to hell and back over the past 1 and a half years.
I am a 19 year old male, who attended university at the start of 2012. I came into school without pimples, acne, etc, but all of a sudden I started breaking out like crazy. I couldn't handle the way I looked. I doused myself in all sorts of face washes, creams (not Retinoids), and was finally starting to get it under control, but the pimples left these horrible, horrible, red marks (not dented/pitted). The red marks just wouldnt budge.
So the summer of 2013 rolled around, and my face was still covered in these red marks leftover from acne. I started seeing a dermatologist who recommended a couple of treatments of IPL. I figured why not, it can only help. Little did i know. First off, I've come to realize that IPL isn't even meant for post acne red marks, and secondly, i had not heard of the dangers regarding it. My life has been different ever since i stepped foot into that office.
I received the IPL on August 13, 2013. Lucky number 13 i guess... I remember it being very hot, and I remember my doctor asking me if I "had a tan from the summer." I said yes. (Don't know if this means he put it on a higher setting or lower). My face had the usual reactions, very, very, red, and hot. But that wore off 2 days later. Red marks didn't fade though. My instinct told me to leave my face alone for now, and head back to college, pausing the remaining treatments. This is where my life turned completely. In college, I'd say post 1 month IPL i had these pangs of pain in my face. Nerve damage if you will. I never related it to the IPL. Maybe because I began to feel it a month after the treatment, and not immediately. Then i started having dry eyes, but my eyes began turning different shapes. Almost as if each eye had a different rate of fat loss going on. Towards the end of my first semester, I started noticing the change in my face. Eyes were hollowing out, weird lines under my eyes, cheeks caving in, orange peel texture. I finally related it to the IPL. That winter break was the worst I'd been mentally and physically in my entire life. I decided to take the spring semester off.
I'm extremely depressed. I see a therapist for my problems but that only helps so much. I told him i wouldn't be happy unless my face gets better. I quit seeing that dermatologist, and saw another. He says "IPL's are very safe." As far as the acne, I break out all the time, except now they leave scars. I look like a monster. My parents have had it with me. They "dont see anything besides acne," my older sisters think I "act like a girl" and saying its "just skin." You would think closing in on 10 months out, I would be starting to accept it by now, but I am not. My friends are all back from school, and they are always calling me asking me to hang, but I always dodge them by telling them I am working. I'm frightened if they see my face. I use to be so fun to be with, this laser has stripped me of that. I lost all of my confidence. Confidence is everything in life. I'm just 19 and I want to end my life, but I know i can't.
As for now, I began to use the psoria gold about 4 months ago. Yes it helps. Slowly though. And to be honest, I hope none of you get offended when I say this, I can live with the textural damage to some extent (as long as it doesnt progress). I can't live with the fat loss. It changed my entire face. But my parents cant even notice it. I'm beginning to think they do notice it, but they see how depressed I am, and they are afraid to say anything. The nerve damage has definitely subsided. I am happy about that. It used to be everyday, now its maybe once a week. I have jaw pains though. Could be TMJ related, as my wisdom teeth are impacted apparently. I'm scared to go through with that operation, because who knows what that will make my face look like. Classic case of post traumatic stress disorder.
Who knows if the fat loss is still happening. I used to look in the mirror hundreds of times a day, and now I look at it twice. Definitely helps. I eat healthier now, no college kid diet. I drink one cup of green tea with turmeric a day. No alcohol. My acne is bad, I use the psoriagold for that. just hoping one day things will turn around, or one day I will accept my "new face". I'm extremely skinny to begin with, so packing on the pounds wouldn't hurt me. Just hope some fat goes to the face, but doubtful.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. Just good to talk to people who actually understand. No questions on my part really, as I've read just about every thread on here. .